CRYSTAL CITY, VA — Former MLB umpire Angel Hernandez quickly found new work as Boeing hired Hernandez to be the lead safety inspector for its entire fleet.
"Hernandez has exactly the sort of eye we're looking for in a safety inspector," said Boeing spokesman Scottie Edwards. "His level of acute observation and attention to detail will assure the continued quality in Boeing planes that everyone has come to know."
Hernandez accepted the new role just days after leaving Major League Baseball, signing the new contract in hours. "To be honest, I was blindsided by my departure from baseball," said Hernandez. "I never saw it coming. Next thing you know, I check my phone and have a bunch of missed calls, and here I am at Boeing!"
While the MLB has not released any statement on the matter, several managers of Major League teams have announced that they will be driving their teams to away games instead of flying in the future. "We wish Hernandez well in all of his future endeavors," said MLB commissioner Rob Manfred. "On an unrelated note, I have canceled all of my flights to watch teams in person and issued a complete moratorium on air travel for all teams. Also, I just put my entire investment portfolio in AirBus."
At publishing time, Hernandez had been seen walking around Boeing hangars yelling, "SAFE!!" at all of the planes.
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