WASHINGTON, D.C. — Blindsided by Tuesday's midterm election debacle, Republicans were reportedly now wishing there had been some kind of act they could have passed to save America.
Though Republican lawmakers remained divided on exactly what went wrong on Election Day, all were apparently in agreement that it would have been really cool if there had been some type of legislation or some type of law that, if passed, would have saved the country and given the American people more confidence in the party.
"If only there was something we could have done, anything at all really," said Senate Majority Leader John Thune. "Like some sort of act that would have secured our elections and garnered the support of our base. Something called an America Save Act or — I don't know, I'm just spitballing here."
Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski added, "Yeah, just imagine it. If there was something an overwhelming number of Americans supported, that would have been amazing. We could have called it the Save America Act, maybe. Wow, that has a nice ring to it, too. What an obvious slam dunk that would have been."
Other senators agreed and said they would have voted for such an act in a heartbeat. Instead, there was nothing they could have done, and it was all Trump's fault.
Senator Mitch McConnell is said to have echoed the sentiments of his colleagues behind closed doors, but was unavailable for comment.
At publishing time, House Speaker Mike Johnson was seen waving his arms wildly, saying he had literally passed such an act twice already.
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