WASHINGTON, DC — After finding it difficult to get lawmakers and other influential power brokers in the nation's capital to actually read the proposed 4,155-page omnibus spending bill, concerned Republicans successfully convinced people to begin reading it by renaming it Harry Potter and the $1.7 Trillion Omnibus Bill. The change in interest was almost immediate.
"Oh, there's a new Harry Potter book?!" Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez exclaimed when she heard about the bill's new title. "I can't wait to read every page and find out all about what Harry and his friends are up to with this omnibus spending bill!"
The clever renaming tactic was believed to be the brainchild of a small group of conservative Republican lawmakers, including Thomas Massie, Rand Paul, and Josh Hawley. "As huge Harry Potter fans themselves, they knew the urge to read the bill would become irresistible if they made it sound like another installment of the book series," said one of Senator Hawley's staffers under the condition they not be named. "You should have seen all of the senators and members of the House sitting cross-legged on the floor of the hallways in the Capitol building while they read it."
At publishing time, with the trick proving so successful, GOP members of Congress were making plans to use it in the future. Potential titles of future bloated spending bills rumored to be under consideration include The Lion, The Witch, & The Pork-Filled Spending Bill, Indiana Jones & The Pacification of Special Interest Groups, and Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six-Trillion-Dollar Slush Fund.
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