WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the midterm elections approach, cynical Republicans are pouncing on Biden for being one of the worst presidents ever. According to sources in Washington, Republicans plan to cruelly take advantage of Biden's handling of Afghanistan, inflation, the economy, spending, jobs, the border crisis, and his own dementia, to convince the American people to elect Republicans.
"Wow, I'm so tired from all the pouncing," said Senator Ted Cruz while stretching his legs. "We Republicans love deviously using the failures of Democrats to suggest that they're doing a bad job so people won't vote for them."
Cruz then threw back his head and laughed an evil laugh.
"Republicans are once again showing how cruel and heartless they are, with all the pouncing," said Democrat Chuck Schumer. "They are simply taking advantage of our miserable failures so people will vote for them instead. Don't be fooled!"
At publishing time, Biden heard about all the pouncing and ducked.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
