Report: Lots Of Yelling At Each Other Expected To Fix Things Any Day Now
Politics · Oct 29, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - It is a contentious time in this country, with a sharp partisan divide and extremists committing acts of violence, but a number of people have stumbled upon what they think could be the answer: lots of yelling at each other.

"Loud yelling really is the answer," said concerned citizen Clayton Pearson. "And it's not just the volume of the yelling but also the content. It should be full of anger. And the target is anyone on the opposite side of me, politically. If I express that I'm even angrier now at people I already didn't like, that will finally engender change."

But actual yelling isn't the only tactic people have settled on. A big part of the answer to our problem -- perhaps even the biggest part -- is virtual yelling online. "If I type enough angry things online to show how frustrated I am with the state of things -- and especially with people who don't share my politics -- that's going to finally turn this country around," explained online activist Larry Garrett. Garrett had been using the Shift key extensively to help express the level of his displeasure, but that had been slowing him down. He recently discovered the Caps Lock -- a key that's much like Shift being held down automatically -- which is speeding up his process of expressing anger and should lead even more quickly to positive outcomes.

It has been pointed out that many of these people were already constantly yelling at people, so it's not certain how this "new" effort is going to lead to a different outcome. "Now we're yelling even louder," activist Vicki Craig explained, "and are even angrier." It's uncertain if they've finally reached the volume and anger level needed to fix things, but both of those measures are expected to increase in the coming week, hopefully reaching the correct level before Election Day.

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