Politics
Report: Kamala Harris Already Vetting VP Picks

U.S.—Supporters of Kamala Harris have been eagerly awaiting an announcement on who her VP pick will be when she takes over as president approximately 5 minutes after Joe Biden is inaugurated. According to sources close to the campaign, she is already vetting possible candidates for the job. 

"I am proud to announce I will soon be announcing my pick for Vice President of the United States," said Harris. "We have searched all across this great land. While I cannot yet confirm who my pick will be, I can say this: my pick for VP will be even MORE of a woman and even MORE of color than I am. It will be the most colorful and womanly team ever!" She then threw her head back and cackled maniacally.

Joe Biden was also thrilled to hear the news that he would be getting not just one, but two female vice presidents.

The VP search has stalled since it has proven difficult to find a woman of color who survived both Kamala Harris' pro-abortion policies as well as her aggressive imprisonment of minorities. In a statement, the campaign also promised to announce a pick while all The Babylon Bee writers are sleeping so they won't have a chance to write a funny headline about it. 

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