WASHINGTON, D.C.—During an address Thursday, President Trump revealed that the first Star Destroyer warship to be christened in the new United States Space Force program will be named the USS Civility, in honor of the kind of civil discourse the president has “always made a priority” throughout his administration.
The Civility will be armed with dozens of turbolaser batteries, TIE fighters, AT-AT walkers, and nearly 10,000 stormtroopers, and will be ready to invade and wipe out any foreign countries, planets, or entire star systems that have even a minor dispute with America. Currently being built at a secret Lockheed Martin stardock, it is expected to launch in 2020.
“We’ve always been focused on the idea of civility throughout my administration, and I want the first deadly weapon of mass destruction that sets sail among the stars to reflect that commitment,” Trump said. “When we come into contact with unknown life forms out in the black, they’ll know how civil our nation is. I mean, it’ll say Civility right on the front of the ship bristling with laser cannons and an invading ground force.”
The president went on to say that only “low-IQ aliens” would dare resist the power of the Civility.
At publishing time, Trump had announced the second craft to be christened in the Space Force would be a DS-1 Orbital Battle Station, tentatively dubbed the USS Covfefe.