U.S. — A new report is predicting a 0% unemployment rate by the year 2026, as every American will be working for the IRS and be hard at work auditing other American citizens who work for the IRS.
"America's glorious future is upon us," said President Biden to a hangnail on his thumb he mistook for an audience of thousands. "Soon we will have perfect compliance with tax code as everyone becomes a tax collector for the IRS. Everything will be funded and we'll make the transition to green energy, and no one will ever suffer again! Come on! It's not rocket science!"
The job will require no intelligence or formal education, as tax calculations can be easily made by computers that will monitor the transactions of every American. Workers will simply press a button at their computer to initiate the auditing sequence and will be equipped with a gun and a badge to arrest any friends and neighbors found to be incompliant.
Unfortunately, the report also predicts GDP plunging to zero dollars in 2027 and mass starvation and death by 2028.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
