Internet, we need to talk. It's come to my attention that there are many human females out there who won't date me, not because of anything I've done wrong, but because of their deep-seated biases against Star Wars geeks.

This is called geekphobia, and it's a real problem.

Look, let's talk frankly here. If you won't date a guy who can talk for three hours straight about the Thrawn trilogy, face it: you're a bigot. It's not your personal preferences that prevent you from dating me -- it's your bigotry and hatred against those who identify as fans of a 40-year-old science-fiction franchise and still play with Kenner action figures all day.

Society has programmed you females to prefer men who have "upper body strength" and "social skills" and don't "endlessly debate how horrible the sequel films are with strangers on the internet late into the night." Like it or not, preferring to date a man who doesn't "go on and on about how the prequels are looking increasingly good in light of what Disney did to Star Wars" and "talk about how Han shot first every time we watch the original trilogy" is because you've been brainwashed by a patriarchal society that has trained you to find more "masculine" and "less weird" qualities attractive in a mate.

Frankly, a lot of this boils down to normal guy privilege. What's normal guy privilege, you may ask, fair females of our species? Allow me to geeksplain. Normal guy privilege is the systemic advantages in the dating sphere enjoyed by guys who don't have pasty white skin from playing the Star Wars RPG in their basements every night, who have useful marital skills like being able to hold a conversation without ranting about Rose Tico, and who "take showers" and "don't have permanent body odor from playing old-school Star Wars games like Jedi Knight and Rogue Squadron into the early morning hours every evening."

The truly woke females will confront their inherent biases and date a Star Wars geek immediately. It's the only way to end geekphobia for good.