Remaining Avengers Team Up To Battle Snow Plow
Entertainment · Jan 6, 2023 ·

LAKE TAHOE, NV — Following the horrific accident that sidelined Hawkeye, the remaining Avengers have reportedly joined forces to strike back against the villainous Snow Plow. Earth's Mightiest Heroes have stated they will stop at nothing to exact revenge on the monstrous machine that critically injured their teammate.

"An attack on one Avenger is an attack on all of us," said Captain America in a brief statement to reporters as the team prepared to head up the mountain in search of their enemy. "Seeing Hawkeye in that ICU having his hair shampooed in one of those hospital shower cap things was sobering for all of us."

Though the world was relieved to hear Hawkeye would survive the dastardly attack, some people were left to wonder if this would have happened if the current Avengers roster wasn't made up of B-level heroes. "I don't think this would have ever happened with the old team," said superhero superfan Travis Oakside. "Now, with a roster that consists of Captain Marvel, Shang Chi, and other replacement-caliber heroes, bad guys think they can get away with anything."

Using Hawkeye's accident as a rallying cry, the Avengers vowed to defeat the evil Snow Plow and complete the job of clearing the driveway of Hawkeye's ski retreat.

At publishing time, the Avengers were expecting to easily defeat Snow Plow and get back to their headquarters, where they could discuss the wisdom of having a team member who has no actual superpowers and is just really good at archery.

Babylon Bee subscriber Myles M contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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