Conservative Parents Catch Rebellious Teenage Daughter Sneaking Out With Friends To Wear N95 Masks
Local · Nov 7, 2021 ·

PEORIA, IL - According to sources, a parent's worst nightmare has become a reality for the Smith family after their daughter fell in with the wrong crowd at school and snuck out at night to wear N95 masks. 

"This isn't the daughter I raised," said Mr. Smith to reporters. "We raised her to love freedom and liberty and to own the libs. But apparently, she's forgotten everything we taught her. When I was a boy, we snuck out at night to drink beer and smoke weed. Whatever happened to those days? What is wrong with this generation?" 

Witnesses say the Smith's 16-year-old daughter Linda had purchased a pack of N95 masks at a local hardware store and was planning to meet some friends at "make-out hill" to wear them while socially distancing and talking about socialism and saving the environment.

"I'm so afraid my daughter is heading down a dangerous road," said Linda's mother. "N95 masks are a gateway drug to doing harder stuff, like taking the experimental Pfizer vaccine. I feel like I don't even know my own little girl anymore." 

According to Linda's close friends, she plans to get her parents off her back by reporting them to the FBI. 

Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!

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