This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 9/18/2020.

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In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week's biggest stories like how Netflix is putting out films to show how bad something is by having actors do that thing, Democrats are threatening chaos and death if they don't get their way in November, and a woman is marrying a tree. Kyle and Ethan do a rundown of the most weird stories of the Bible and come up with great band names like Stabbing Eglon.

Introduction

Welcome to The Babylon Bee, the only podcast on the internet where two pasty white guys tell you what they think about politics.

Kyle has a church visit horror story.

Stuff That's Good

Kyle LOVES They Shall Not Grow Old - 2018 documentary by Peter Jackson featuring restored and colorized footage of World War I. No narrator, no framing, no commentary, just audio of actual World War I vets over the footage. Very few historical details, just the soldiers' experiences. An incredibly moving film.

Ethan likes Norm MacDonald's Based On a True Story Audiobook

BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU IS BACK

Weird News

• Zoo's sloths appear to kiss on camera in first encounter

• Watch: Bear nudges Massachusetts man napping by backyard pool

• Man beats his own record after sitting in tub of ice for over two hours

• Man breaks into home and poops in dishwasher

• 'Tropical' bird turns out to be a seagull someone dyed electric blue

• Mum-of-two who married a tree celebrates their first wedding anniversary

• Virginia man gets permission to be buried in Juicy Fruit-themed casket

Stories of the Week

New Netflix Movie Actually Murders Puppies To Teach That Murdering Puppies Is Bad

Democrats Reveal They Have Planted Dynamite All Around Nation And Will Blow It Up If Biden Isn't Elected

Summary: Democrats are offering their most persuasive case yet for Biden's election claiming that 'A Vote for Trump is a vote for more violence'. They said if Biden is not elected  president they will detonate a series of explosives and millions will die. 

• From Shadi Hamid at the Atlantic "A loss by Joe Biden under these circumstances is the worst case not because Trump will destroy America (he can't), but because it is the outcome most likely to undermine faith in democracy, resulting in more of the social unrest and street battles that cities including Portland, Oregon, and Seattle have seen in recent months. For this reason, strictly law-and-order Republicans who have responded in dismay to scenes of rioting and looting have an interest in Biden winning - even if they could never bring themselves to vote for him."

Academy Strips 'Schindler's List' Of Best Picture Award Due To Lack Of Diversity

Summary: Schindler's List is considered to be one of the greatest films about the holocaust and man's ability to do good in the midst of evil-- well until now. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences recently ruled that films without representation from LGBTQ+ characters, people of color, and other oppressed groups would not be eligible to win Oscars. Sorry Schindler's List!

• According to The Academy's new Best Picture rules - which go into full effect in 2024 - films must meet at least two of four new standards that stipulate roles both onscreen and behind the scenes be filled by people from underrepresented groups, including race, women, LGBTQ and people with cognitive or physical disabilities, including the deaf and hard of hearing.

• Who says they decide what the best picture is? "You can't be the best unless you follow our rules" sounds like playground talk. 

• Among the critics was actress Kirstie Alley, who didn't mince words: "The new RULES to qualify for 'best picture' are dictatorial…anti-artist…Hollywood you're swinging so far left you're bumping into your own a**."

• It's almost as if the racists are suggesting the criteria for best picture should be that it was a picture and it was the best one. 

• Movies are one of the great ways to see into another culture and understand them better. Cultures should get their own films. 

Topic of the Week: Weird Bible Stories

There are a ton of beautiful, inspiring stories in the Bible. We all know about those ones. But there's also a lot of weird stuff. Some nasty stuff too. 

• The Bible shows us a true picture of reality, including the sad and horrific stuff, as well as the bizarre stuff no one can explain. 

• Why do you think we shy away from telling these stories?

• Why do you think they're in the Bible?

• Jael and the Tent stake (Judges 4:9-22)

• Elisha and the she-bears (2 Kings 2:23-24)

• Balam's talking donkey (Numbers 22:21-39)

• Stabbing Eglon (Judges 3:12-30)

• Ezekiel baking bread over poo (Ezekiel 4:9)

• God tells prophet Hosea to marry the prostitute Gomer (Hosea 1)

• Nebuchadnezzar cursed to eat grass for 7 years (Daniel 4)

• Elijah mocking the prophets of Ba'al- "Maybe your god is on the toilet!" (1 Kings 18)

• Guy who fell asleep during a sermon and fell out the window (Acts 20:7-12)

• Actually did a Bee article about this

• Paul resurrected him! 

• Jesus letting the demons go into the herd of pigs (Luke 8:26-39)

• Jesus curses the fig tree (Mark 11:12-25) 

Hate Mail

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Subscriber Portion

Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag to answer questions from subscribers about tattoos and reading books.

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