WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House is pushing back at the idea that inflation is related to any of President Biden’s policies. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki has instead said that inflation is solely caused by “little elves that change prices in the middle of the night.”
“When you wake up and go to the grocery store and all the food costs more, that’s elves,” Psaki explained to the press. “And when tiny little elves increase prices everywhere, that’s how you get inflation.”
Psaki explained that the elves — known as Price Elves — only come out when everyone is sleeping and use elf magic so they won't show up on security cameras. Psaki also reiterated this has nothing to do with Biden, whom elves love, as he looks like an old wizard -- like a beardless Dumbledore.
“Obviously, something has angered the elves — something other than Biden — to cause them to give us higher prices,” Psaki said. “We just need to figure that out and make it better, and that will stop the elves. My guess is that climate change is harming their sacred forest. So to make the Price Elves like us again, we have to stop climate change. Yes, the best way to fight inflation is to get an electric car and recycle your plastics.”
It should be noted that most economists reject the Price Elves theory of inflation, with the notable exception of Nobel prize winner Paul Krugman, who said, “I always knew it was elves!”
The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!