Just a quick, friendly PSA from your friends at The Babylon Bee. You may think you're just using common, everyday phrases, but you're really triggering your Calvinist friends. Here are some helpful alternatives:
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.