Public School: Pros And Cons
Education · Feb 7, 2024 ·

As the debate over school choice rages on, many parents may be suffering from information overload. Do you send your child to private school, plunging yourself into trillions of dollars of debt? Should you homeschool, guaranteeing they become weirdos? OR… do you roll the dice and send them to your assigned public school?

The Babylon Bee is here to help you make this important decision with the following list of pros and cons of public school:

Pro: Extracurricular activities


Pro: Team sports

Con: Your daughter just got mauled on the soccer field by a giant dude named Stephanie

Pro: You don't have to make lunches for your kids every day

Con: The lunch they get consists mostly of cardboard and glue particles

Pro: Always have a nurse on call

Con: The nurse has a drawer labeled "Puberty" with an "X" drawn over it

Pro: They get to meet new kids

Con: Their new friend taught them how to make meth in the school bathroom

Pro: Socialization

Con: Socialism

Pro: Teachers who love kids

Con: Ugh! Not that way! Nooo!

Pro: Free childcare

Con: Free tampons in the boys' bathroom

Pro: Zebra cakes

Con: Juvenile Diabetes

Pro: They'll be like all the other kids

Con: All the other kids are gay commies

Pro: Their teacher has a website where students can reach them outside school hours

Con: It's OnlyFans

That should provide you with all the information you need to make the right choice. If you do end up sending your kids to public school, you can make a similar pro/con list to help you choose their therapist in a few years.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.

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