Christian Living Health
Promising New Patch Treats Women's Addiction To Sniffing Essential Oils

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—A new patch developed by Silicon Valley startup OilDerm helps your loved ones wean off their essential oil addiction until they're finally free of their need to use essential oils, "like literally all the time." 

OilDerm's patented PU system delivers that essential oil high directly to the bloodstream so that women who are addicted to sniffing essential oils are able to get their cravings met without making everyone else around them smell a potent mix of hundreds of different oils all day long.

"Our patches slowly pump women's bloodstreams full of the addicting stimulants essential oils give off, without the harmful side effects," said Harper Darling, founder of OilDerm.

Darling said he got the idea when his wife had to check into rehab for her essential oil addiction and he didn't know where to turn. "I knew we had to take action. She was buying oils off strange trenchcoat-laden people in alleys, she was getting her fix in the bathroom at clubs and bars. We didn't know what to do." So, along with a team of medical doctors whose wives were also addicted to essential oils, he came up with the OilDerm system.

According to the company, you can start off with high essential oil doses and then ease off over a period of weeks, until the point where your wife, girlfriend, or mother doesn't start shaking if she doesn't get her peppermint fix.

The patch also promises to cure your loved one's cravings to recruit you into their essential oil MLM.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.