WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - Friends and family members of local progressive woman June April were concerned about her. She had been seeing things and hearing voices in her head. The things she saw were mostly racism, white supremacy, and the patriarchy. She saw them even when everyone else in the room didn't.
So, her friends finally convinced her to talk to a trained psychiatrist. After meeting with Dr. Richard Bryers, the family's worst fears were confirmed: April is having hallucinations about white supremacy no matter where she goes.
During the session, Dr. Bryers held up dozens of different images of random inkblots. As soon as he displayed each image, April began to get agitated and shout, "WHITE SUPREMACY! WHITE SUPREMACY!" When asked to defend her logic, she often pointed at how the white paper was surrounding the black blot, threatening to snuff it out.
"This is clearly racism!" she said.
No matter if the image resembled a butterfly, a freight train, a Pokemon, the Batman logo, a map of Middle-Earth, a palm tree, or a hundred jelly beans, April's answer remained the same: white supremacy.
"Now, this might be hard for you, but I need to know: is the racism in the room with us right now, June?" Dr. Bryers asked quietly as the session neared its end.
The doctor diagnosed April with a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome along with an accurate case of Chronic Racism Delusion. He advised that she get off social media, talk face to face with the people she thinks to be racist, and "just chilling out about stuff a lot more."