SAN DIEGO, CA—A popular new craft IPA created by Stonemission Point Brewery is actually just a bottle of Pine-Sol, sources at the brewery admitted Thursday.
"Our new Pine-Sol IPA has that piney, hoppy flavor you love, plus it kills 99.9% of germs," said Paolo Antony, head brewer for Stonemission Point. "We source only the best cleaning agents, ethoxylated undecl alcohol, pine oil, benzoic acids, and of course, way more hops than any beverage should ever have. Then, we brew it with care for several weeks before we serve it to our happy customers at any of our fine tasting rooms across the greater San Diego region."
When the beer was introduced, bearded hipsters across the city were seen lining up around the block for a taste of the coveted Pine-Sol IPA.
"I used to like Ballast Point's Grapefruit Sculpin IPA because I love the taste of Grapefruit with just a hint of Pine-Sol," said Aaron Balder as he twirled his mustache. "But when I heard that Stonemission Point was introducing a brew that was basically just pure Pine-Sol, I poured all that Scuplin down the drain. I'm a Pine-Sol man now, through and through."
At publishing time, the brewery had announced a new stout beer that was actually just motor oil that had been pumped through an engine for 20,000 miles.