SAN JOSE, CA — Last week, PayPal faced backlash after including verbiage in its Acceptable Use Policy that allowed the company to fine users $2,500 for "misinformation." While the company has said that the verbiage was posted "in error" and they never intended to fine users for misinformation, the online community has spotted additional fine print allowing PayPal to levy $2,500 fees against white people for reparations.
"Acceptable Use Policy infractions include…being white, for which infraction reparations of $2,500 will be automatically withdrawn from users and redistributed to historically oppressed groups." PayPal's terms of service were scoured by eagle-eyed critics over the weekend, many of whom took issue with their PayPal accounts being raided after they filled out the "Caucasian" race on the checkbox and then clicked "I confirm that I have read and agree to the terms of equity service" without noticing they were opting into being fined for reparations.
Some social justice advocates have questioned where the funds will be sent, asking whether the decision-makers overseeing the distribution of funds will strictly adhere to principles of equity and intersectionality. Concerns were raised that the funds are earmarked for "building equitable housing for historically oppressed BLM organizers," but PayPal has assured these critics that to avoid appearances of corruption, the funds will be given to LLCs held by the organizers for buying mansions and funding parties.
At publishing time, the reparations had been withdrawn from the accounts of all white people, as well as people who "declined to state" their race or were "Asian," which reparations experts have said is "white-adjacent."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.