MOBILE, AL - Pathetic, fake, wannabe conservative man Bill Shaw hasn't even been banned from Twitter yet, sources close to the right-leaning man confirmed Monday.
Fellow conservatives quickly called Shaw's loyalty to the cause into question after discovering he hasn't so much as received a warning from Twitter for his tweets so far.
"I just don't know what I'm doing wrong," he said, shaking his head. "I've tried misgendering people, deadnaming people, retweeting Ben Shapiro - but nothing is working." Shaw states he posts using a slew of conservative hashtags but so far has been unable to draw the ire of Twitter or any other social network.
"He's probably a closet liberal," said one of his conservative friends. "I myself was banned from Twitter a year ago, proving my conservatism is real, unlike Bill's."
In a last-ditch effort to be accepted among his peers, Shaw posted a picture of himself in a MAGA hat, but it went completely ignored by Twitter's censors, cementing his status as a sorry excuse for a conservative.