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Pastor Manages To Segue Softball Pep Talk Into Altar Call

LYNCHBURG, VA—As Sunnymeade Community Church’s softball team prepared to take the field for an all-important game to clinch a playoff berth Tuesday evening, Pastor-coach Bill Gregory reportedly managed to somehow turn his inspiring speech into an altar call.

A transcript of the speech obtained by reporters indicated that Gregory smoothly segued from telling his outfielders how important their jobs were to having each of his teammates close their eyes and bow their heads, as he asked if anyone wanted to come forward to give their lives to Jesus.

“We’ve come a long way this season. I’ve watched you guys go through a real metamorphosis,” Gregory said. “Even you, Wally, out in right field.”

“And so I want to take a moment now and just offer the opportunity to accept Christ,” Gregory continued to his confused team, before presenting the “ABC’s” of salvation and informing his team that he was willing to wait as long as necessary before those with “divine appointments” raised their hand to “say ‘yes’ to Jesus.”

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that the pastor’s son Jacob had come forward for the fourth season in a row, to ensure the team didn’t get hit with a delay of game forfeiture.

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