GARY, IN - Tapping his years of undergraduate study, seminary experience, and hours of personal reading and reflection each week, local pastor Darrell Warren posted a meticulously researched, impeccably reasoned church blog post on God's sovereignty as it relates to man's suffering - a missive that approximately four people will end up reading, sources confirmed Monday.

Entitled "Our Sour Suffering And His Sweet Sovereignty," the 2,500-word work that would garner hits from the pastor himself, as well as his wife, mother, and one other mysterious person, was allegedly a beautifully written call for Christians to put their hope in God's power in the midst of their trials.

As Warren finally finished and posted the already doomed piece on the church website Sunday afternoon, he spread the word on several social media accounts, including those of his church, his own personal profiles, and his wife's various social platforms.

"New blog post on the church page - check it out! Great response so far!" Warren wrote on his Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Google+ accounts, heralding the triumphant completion of his masterful work that almost no one would wind up reading.

"Feel free to comment/discuss!" he added, shortly before clicking over to the blog's analytics page in order to refresh it several times per minute.

At publishing time, Warren was hard at work on his next elaborate, scholarly blog post.