Local Family
Local Family Inadvertently Prints Imprecatory Psalm On Christmas Cards

GALVESTON, TX—According to sources, local family the Fullers mistakenly selected a violent imprecatory Psalm as their chosen verse for this year’s Christmas card, which was mailed to all of their friends, family and coworkers.

The verse in question is Psalm 58:6, which reads, “O God, shatter the teeth in their mouths,” according to witnesses who have received a copy of the card.

The trouble started when the Fullers reportedly chose to save time this year by uploading a family photo and Bible verse to an online service which automatically creates and mails a custom-designed Christmas card to the addresses provided.

“We decided on Psalm 86:8—but I must have made a mistake when I typed in which verse number I wanted them to print out on the cards,” the horrified patriarch Jim Fuller told reporters.

“Psalm 86:8 would’ve been great—‘Among the gods there is none like you, Lord; no deeds can compare with yours,’ but instead I’ve got Aunt Shirley calling to ask what kind of sick weirdos we are.”

The Fullers plan to use a New Testament verse next year, to avoid a similar problem. “We’ll pick something Jesus said—he always spoke kind words of gentleness,” Jim noted.

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