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Pastor Excuses Himself To Frantically Google Tough Theology Question

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WARNER ROBINS, GA—After a parishioner asked him a difficult theology question regarding the two wills of God after service Sunday, local pastor Brett Merced politely excused himself for a moment, walked a few steps away, and frantically googled for the answer, sources at River Baptist Church confirmed.

The pastor smiled and pretended to know exactly what the congregant was asking, then briefly excused himself to frantically search Google for some kind of coherent answer.

"Right, the two wills of God, right, totally—just give me one second, I have to take care of something," he said before turning away to hurriedly check Google. "What the heck was that woman talking about?" he muttered as he began sweating profusely.

"C'mon, phone, don't fail me now," he added as he waited for the search results to load, turning and gesturing "just one second" to the confused congregant.

"They sure don't teach this stuff in seminary!" he lamented, though he had never been to seminary.

At publishing time, a relieved Pastor Brett had found an answer on the internet and responded to the church member, though he later realized with horror the answer had come from the official website of the Mormon church.


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