Op-Ed: There's No Such Thing As Bully Culture, It's Just My Fist's Free Market Response To Your Stupid Face, Dweeb
Op-Ed · Jul 13, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

I will say this until I am blue in the face or until your wedgie splits you in two: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BULLY CULTURE.

There is free speech, duh. You can have your stupid poindexter glasses and your pepperoni face acne, and I can choose to dunk your dorkwad face in an unflushed toilet and pull the handle. 

Your lunch money privilege is showing, that's why it's mine now. You're just upset that I can organize dissent by cornering you down by the park, dump your books, rip your undies over your head, and take your lunch money, which I deserve because my dad spends all his money on giant cans of Natty Ice and tattoos of wolves. 

Furthermore, even if you're somewhat popular, you're still a giant dweeb sandwich, nerd. You may be surrounded by cool kids but you'll slip up one of these days and when you do, I'll be there. Your books will be on the floor before you know what happened. Maybe if you would just learn not to have such a stupid face you wouldn't get owned so hard, lol.

Enough whining and moaning about the "bully culture" that you claim "threatens to stuff you in the trash after gym class." You're such a wussy punk baby, I'll see you after school. 

Oh, what, you gonna cry?

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