Entertainment
Nation's Old Fogies Recall The Good Old Days When A Next-Gen Game System Meant A Noticeable Difference In Graphics

U.S.—The PS5 and the Xbox Series X are now available for preorder, and people are marveling at the next-generation systems and how if you put a magnifying glass up to the screen, you might be able to tell they have a higher resolution. The new systems also boast increased framerates, though you might need to be a hummingbird to perceive the difference.

Not satisfied by all of the improvements, though, are old fogies. “Back in my day,” rambled an elderly 41-year-old man, “when a next-gen system came out, just one glimpse of a screenshot and you were blown away by graphics like you’d never seen before. The games they’re premiering now, I just have to take their word for it that it’s not all running on an Xbox One.”

The younger generation was having none of this nonsense. “Then you need to get your eyes checked, old man!” said one young man who was “hip” and “with it.” “These new games have ray-tracing, and if you can’t tell the difference, then you need to get closer to the screen and squint harder! Squint harder, old man!”

“Bah!” answered the old coot. “When I first saw a game running on a Nintendo 64, I was in a coma for a week because my brain couldn’t handle that leap from the Super Nintendo. When I see a screenshot from a PS5, you could have told me it was from a PS3 and I wouldn’t have argued with you.”

“Then you’re senile, old man!” answered the younger gamer. “And we need to put you in an old folks' home where all you’ll be able to play is Wii Bowling!”

The old man muttered and shuffled away, having to satisfy himself with nostalgic re-releases of games he played when he was younger, though all the nostalgic re-releases now are of games he played after he graduated college.

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