Theology
Old Earth Creation Museum Now Open Six Billion Years A Week

LOS ANGELES, CA—A posting on a local old-earth creation museum’s website and front door confirmed Monday that the establishment is now open six billion years a week.

The posting stated that the Center For Old-Earth Research would be open to the public for six “ages” or “eons” every week, Monday through Saturday.

“We would just be open six days, but that word ‘days’ is so open to interpretation,” head curator Dr. John Russell told reporters asking for comment on the new policy. “We just wanted to come out and state our business hours as plainly and literally as possible, so that people wouldn’t be misled by our use of plain English.”

“I mean, it’d be really confusing if we said we were open for exactly six days, but we didn’t actually mean ‘days,’ you know?” he added.

At publishing time, a competing museum had announced its new “gap hours,” in which the museum will be open for two hours on Sunday morning and then close down for fifteen billion years before re-opening.

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