WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well, this is probably not a great development: sources inside the White House confirmed Friday that someone at some point in the last nine months snuck into the Oval Office and replaced the only copy of the Constitution with a copy of George Orwell's 1984.
"Honestly, this explains a lot," said one political news analyst. "We were wondering why he was doing everything literally the exact opposite of what the Constitution said. It's like we have been living in a dystopian novel this whole time. And, well, we kind of were."
Aides say this explains why the Biden administration has been lying to the public, claiming that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and that ignorance is strength. It also explains the administration's desire to monitor every little thing Americans do in their private lives, take total control of its citizens' bodies, and brainwash the youth with CRT and other deadly government ideas.
"Boy, do we have egg on our face here," Biden said, chuckling. "Not a good look! But it was an honest mistake. We'll get things set straight here."
After the mistake was corrected, Biden apologized for the error, reversed absolutely everything he's done as president, and resigned so that Trump could take back over. And there was much rejoicing.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
