Antifa Forced To Postpone Riot As Brick Supply Still Stuck On Cargo Ship

KENOSHA, WI—In what many are calling a tragic setback for social justice, local Antifa militants have been forced to postpone their planned riot in Kenosha. This comes after several supply chain disruptions, which have delayed shipments of bricks.

"We'll have to reschedule our violent destruction of this city," said local Antifa captain Xindo Camdenleigh. "Our shipments of bricks, bike locks, bear spray, billy clubs, baseball bats, Goldfish crackers, and fruit snacks are still sitting on a cargo ship outside of the L.A. Long Beach port."

The crowd erupted in a fit of wails, cries, and shrieks due to hearing the bad news, but also due to the cocktails of medications and drugs that were coursing through their veins. 

"This would never happen if it weren't for capitalism!" yelled Camdenleigh. "Burn it down! Burn it all down! I mean—not right now, but on December 8th at 6pm when our shipment arrives." 

Local activists are being encouraged to participate in other criminal activity that doesn't require bricks until then. 

Babylon Bee subscriber HAROLD DABBS contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

In the social justice system, words are considered violence. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious attacks are members of an elite squad known as the Microaggression Victims Unit. These are their stories.

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