Noah’s Wife Adds Stick Figure Decals To The Back Of The Ark
Theology · Aug 18, 2023 ·

MESOPOTAMIA — As heavy rains began pouring down upon the landscape, sending thousands of people scattering in terror, Noah's wife placed a series of stick figure decals on the back of the ark, according to sources.

"One for each of us!" she said as she leaned over the railing on the back of the ark to apply the stickers. "See? There's Noah and me, and here are Shem, Ham, Japheth, and their wives. I wasn't sure they would stick to the gopher wood, especially with all of the water falling out of the sky, but now it really feels more homey. I love doing little things like this to make it our own!"

Though chaos continued to ensue outside the ark, Noah and his family were already settling in with their numerous animal companions. "I'm not sure how I feel about the stick figure decals," Noah said, "but whatever she needs to do to feel more comfortable in here is fine. Hey, if it puts her in a better mood to shovel elephant poop overboard, it's alright with me."

Noah's wife was later seen happily brainstorming other ideas for making the ark feel more like a home, as the family had no idea just how long they may be stuck on board. "I was thinking of maybe a cute bumper sticker or two, or one of those plush Garfield toys hanging by suction cups on its hands."

At publishing time, Noah's wife had decided to add stick figure decals for all of the animals on the ark, which she expected to stretch all the way around the entirety of the ship.

It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.

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