KANSAS CITY, KS - It was a sad day for circle-driving fans this Sunday, as no drivers finished the race at the Kansas City Speedway. This was due to the fact that gas was simply too expensive for any racer to afford to reach the finish line.
"More circles! More circles!" chanted the crowd, but all the cars were stopped as their tanks ran out of gas, and no more circles were to be driven.
"I really wanted to finish driving the requisite number of circles," said Kyle Larson, who was leading up until all the drivers quit. "We did some calculations during a pit stop and compared the cost of gas to the prize money, and it just wasn't worth it. I feel like I let the fans down, but, hey, none of them were willing to chip in for gas."
The fans did seem disappointed, and their "More circles!" chant switched to "Let's go, Brandon!" even though whichever driver was Brandon seemed to be stopped as well.
Some drivers have asked NASCAR to compensate them for mileage driven, but Bob NASCAR, the CEO and founder of NASCAR, says they can't do that, or they would go bankrupt. He has instead suggested that the drivers consider going electric.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
