SACRAMENTO, CA — Outraged at Florida continuing to send flights of illegal immigrants to California, Governor Gavin Newsom has vowed retaliation by continuing to send tens of thousands of Californians to Florida, as he has been for years.
"What DeSantis is doing by shipping undocumented migrants to my state is the most evil thing that has ever been done by anyone in the history of forever," said a fuming Newsom in a statement. "But he'll be sorry when I ship him another 30 thousand Communists from my state this year! HA!"
Census data reveal that Florida has been inundated by throngs of weird Californians who are hoping to escape the high taxes, crime, and poverty of their home state. Unfortunately, these former Californians are working very hard to turn Florida into another California.
"Florida isn't the only state that will feel my wrath," said Newsom. "No red state is safe. I'm sending out my citizens to infect every part of the globe until the whole world is California! BWA HAHA HA HA!"
At publishing time, the illegals who had landed in Newsom's state had already fled back to Mexico after realizing they were in California.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
