IRVINE, CA — A violent brawl erupted between a non-denominational church and Spirit Halloween over a vacant commercial building that suddenly became available for rent.
The vacant building in contention was once a thriving Rite Aid pharmacy, but it was recently closed down after the corporation filed for bankruptcy for the second time. The moment the building's Rite Aid signage was taken down, both Spirit Halloween and Elevation Church descended like hawks. The ensuing battle was fast and furious.
"Whoever is on the Lord's side, rally to me!" shouted lead pastor Steve as the battle lines were drawn. "We're going to have to go Old Testament on these pagans! Let's show these devil worshippers who deserves this generic-looking storefront!"
Reportedly, more than 25 men of military age rallied around their pastor against the hosts of minimum-wage employees summoned by Spirit Halloween management.
"Deploy the skeletons!" bellowed Spirit Halloween manager Lisa. "Send these intolerant religious bigots back to where they came from! This building is ours! HAHAHAHA!"
At first, the battle seemed to be swinging toward Spirit Halloween after a brilliant tactical deployment of 15-foot-tall skeletons and animatronic witches startled the entire congregation, nearly causing them to flee. But it seems that the Lord was with Elevation Church, and after the Spirit Halloween employees clocked out for their 15-minute break, the battle lines broke in Pastor Steve's favor.
At publishing time, lawyers were reviewing the commercial lease language the landlord used to make sure this kind of renter melee never happens again.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
