VILLA RICA, GA — Local father Cade Pennington sat down with each of his kids this week to explain that a man named Jensen Huang did some bad things and, well, Santa won't be able to make it this Christmas.
Through his children's sobs, Pennington assured them that they had been good boys and girls this year. However, Mr. Huang was on the naughty list, and for reasons that are very complicated, Santa would not be delivering any presents to the Pennington household.
"No, buddy, you were definitely on the nice list," assured Pennington. "I'm sure Santa really wishes he could still bring you presents. It's just that Santa was heavily exposed to the AI chip manufacturing industry, and, well, Mr. Huang really did a number on that one. I'm really sorry, buddy."
When his youngest daughter pointed out that Santa's elves were supposed to make the presents, Pennington took a deep breath and rubbed his temples.
"Yes, well, the elves were also really into the semiconductor trade, though your mother says the elves should have diversified," sighed Pennington. "Frankly, the elves would really appreciate it if your mother stopped bringing that up. It's Mr. Huang's fault, though. No one could have seen this coming."
At publishing time, Pennington had informed his kids that, sadly, Mr. Huang had also gotten to the Tooth Fairy.
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