U.S.—Zoom has introduced a new filter that makes it look as though you're dressed appropriately for your work, school, or church meeting.
The filter replaces your pajamas or entirely shirtless body with a nice suit or blouse. Now, people at work won't even know that you haven't put on clothes or showered in well over a week. The filter even makes your expression look more attentive, replacing that zoned-out look with one of interest and intrigue.
"By popular demand, our new Dressed Filter will conceal the fact that you're lounging around in your underwear," said a Zoom representative. "The filter will put you in some classy business attire, remove the bags from under your eyes, and even brush your teeth. Should you nod off during the meeting, our smart technology will render wide-awake eyes right over your eyelids -- so you can get some much-needed sleep in the buff while the meeting continues."
Zoom's servers immediately crashed after the announcement, with the few lone holdouts still using other video software switching over almost instantly.
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