SANTA CRUZ, CA—Mandatory Tolerance, LLC is a Santa Cruz-based internet company that manufacturers bumper stickers, T-shirts, and other merchandise for the left, offering their goods and services on the free market in exchange for money in order to end capitalism.
Their latest product is a magnetic, reusable bumper sticker that you can switch between the slogans "Coexist" and "Resist!" depending on who the president is.
"If a liberal is in office, all is well---therefore, it's time to use the Coexist sticker to remind people that we can all get along despite our differences," said Lou Panderson, CEO of Mandatory Tolerance. "Once a Republican gets into office, it's on: flip that baby over to RESIST! to show people you will not stop screaming at the sky until peace and order is restored in our land."
The company will even email customers helpful "Coexist forecast reports" that tell you when it's a good time to switch over.
"Honestly, it looks like we're gonna have our stickers set to 'Resist' for at least another 5 or 6 years," he said sadly.
Panderson says the company is also developing a "LOVE WINS" sticker that automatically detects if a Christian is behind you so it can switch to "DIE, BIGOT!"
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.