U.S. — New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candidate.
Voters were reportedly unsure whether the candidate who wants to fix all the problems with current policies is any better than the one who has vowed to make everything worse.
"It's a tough call," said one voter. "I do wish things would get better, but sometimes you just want the whole world to burn, you know?"
According to sources, voters were feeling apathetic about the current political race despite the heavy differences between the candidates. Trust in politicians is down over 98%, meaning that voters aren't even sure they can trust the "Fix Everything" candidate to fix everything. Experts have said that this uncertainty may be exactly what the "Make Everything Worse" candidate needs to win.
"If I vote for the guy who wants to make everything worse, at least I know what I'm getting," said local voter Reggie Crate. "And if it turns out they are lying — as all politicians do — and she makes everything better, then that's a win in my book."
At publishing time, thousands of eligible voters had reportedly resolved not to vote this year.
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