ANAHEIM, CA — An exciting new attraction unveiled at Disneyland reportedly inverts guests and shakes their wallets out of their pockets.
Mickey's Magic MoneyGrabber is Disney's take on the future of economics and was opened at Tomorrowland in place of the old Innoventions building next to Autopia and Space Mountain. The ride lifts guests high in the air, flips them upside down, and shakes them around until their valuables fall out of their pockets. Then, as part of the ride, park cast members take all their belongings away and deposit them into the Disney Vault™.
"This is our latest innovation to get as much money out of our visitors as possible," said Disney CEO Bob Iger. "All your money belongs to us. This is just a new way of entertaining you and distracting you while we take it."
Following a brief test run, park guests criticized the ride for being way too short, demanding that it last twice as long and take even more of their money. Disney Imagineers were said to be currently reworking the attraction to accommodate the desire of fans to go even more broke while at Disneyland.
"I love losing all my money at Disneyland!" said one fan. "And it's so convenient. Now I don't have to waste money in the gift shops, I can just ride Mickey's Magic MoneyGrabber."
At publishing time, Mickey's Magic MoneyGrabber was relocated to Disney California Adventure after Imagineers realized it wasn't so much a vision of the future as it was a depiction of Disney's normal business practices.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
