ARLINGTON, VA — In an announcement that comes on the heels of history-making achievements in flight crew diversity, aerospace giant Boeing has revealed its new aircraft features larger lavatories so all-female crews can go to the bathroom together.
Similar to the celebration of aircraft manned by an all-female crew, the announcement of extra-large bathrooms aboard the new airplanes was hailed as an enormous step forward that will allow these female flight crews to continue the time-honored-yet-mysterious tradition of women traveling to the bathroom in groups.
"Our groundbreaking female crew members have spoken, and we have heard them," said Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun. "Never again shall any female member of our flight crews worry about having to go to the lavatory alone. Why do women do that? I have no idea, but they'll now be able to do it on board our new aircraft."
When reached for comment, a female airline pilot expressed excitement over the decision. "We just keep making history every day it seems," said Captain Nancy Green. "You men will never understand why we all go to the bathroom in groups, but the fact that Boeing has made it possible to do it 35,000 feet above the ground is truly an amazing milestone."
At publishing time, the initial flight of the new Boeing model resulted in unexpected controversy due to calls from terrified passengers after the all-female flight crew left the plane unattended mid-flight to all go to the bathroom together.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.