HOLLYWOOD, CA — The horror movie Sinners has officially won the Oscar for "Crappiest Movie To Win An Oscar".
The award each year goes to the most awful, banal cinematic catastrophe that somehow squeaks out an Oscar for being extra gay or not having any white people in it.
"And the award goes to...Sinners!" announced host Conan O'Brien. "You actually won an Oscar for that appalling pile of trash, congratulations. Really, it's an amazing accomplishment to somehow score an Oscar for that monstrous affront to writing and acting, well done. Tip of the cap."
At publishing time, Sinners had also taken home the award for "Best Movie No One At The Academy Actually Watched Because Life Is Too Short."
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
