SAN JOSE, CA—The tech world is abuzz after the announcement of a new smartphone app that could save millions of lives. The new app, called Kid-Alyve, will remind parents to look up from their phones every so often to confirm that their children are still breathing.
"The world of smartphones has made our lives easier in so many ways, but some say it has made parenting harder," said Felix Frankdank, CEO of Goo-Ga Creative Solutions, the team behind the app. "There is just so much compelling content on the internet these days, kids can't compete anymore. They're totally boring by comparison. Our new app reminds you to balance your internet consumption with your parenting duties by encouraging you to look up from the screen every once in a while."
Kid-Alyve will feature different modes to match your parenting style. "Helicopter Parent" mode will remind you to check your kids every 30 seconds, while "Hands-Off" mode will remind you every few hours, and will even issue pre-recorded commands to your children for you.
For all-star parents who take parenting extremely seriously, there is also a "Hardcore Mode" that will cause your phone to self-destruct forever.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.