LOS GATOS, CA—Netflix has hired three racist men to watch old TV shows so that the streaming service can remove any old TV shows that they find funny. The men, Bubba, Brett, and Buddy, are all avowed racists and white supremacists. Each day, Netflix has them marathon old episodes of classic TV shows and monitors whatever they think is really funny.
"Hey, take a look at this here Dwight fella -- he shore is hilarious!" said one of the racists as Dwight Schrute appeared in an old episode of The Office, nearly bringing in a friend to appear in blackface. "Let's watch more of The Office! The writers of this show really get me, ya hear?"
They also loved one episode of Community where a character was covered in dark paint in order to cosplay as a dark elf from Dungeons & Dragons' Forgotten Realms setting. "Yes! Racism! We love this stuff!" they cried, rolling with laughter. A Netflix representative took some notes down and the episode was quickly pulled.
The racists did not laugh at any of Netflix's original content, which they said had too many diverse characters and way too much LGBT representation. "Not funny at all -- would not watch again," they said of Queer Eye. "Way too much diversity! Boo! Boo!"
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.