NEW YORK, NY— According to sources at a local movie theater, pop astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson was spotted attending a screening of Avengers: Infinity War Thursday evening, but spent the entire time loudly pointing out scientific inaccuracies in the film about super-powered wizards shooting each other with space magic.
The trouble began when an exposition-heavy scene revealed that the film’s plot revolved around the collection of a set of “infinity stones” which could threaten humanity’s very existence.
“Actually, stones are simply aggregates of various types of minerals, and could not possibly contain the kind of infinite power indicated in this film,” Tyson said loudly, drawing glares from those sitting around him. “This is ridiculous.”
Tyson also balked at the physics of Iron Man’s suit, Spider-Man’s web-slinging, and the portals created by Dr. Strange. The scientist even loudly scoffed when Thor came onscreen, whispering to a friend that “gods don’t exist.”
“Furthermore, the very notion of a ‘spider-man’ flies in the face of evolutionary biology,” Tyson added before booing loudly at a scene in which a vacuum is created by a breach in the side of a spacecraft.
Tyson was also reportedly incensed at the speed at which various spacecraft traveled through the galaxy. “How did they arrive already? A journey through space like that would take many millions of years, even with advanced propulsion technology. Boo!”
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Tyson was asked to leave the theater after he began throwing popcorn at the screen yelling “Raccoons don’t talk!”
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