California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it's hard to narrow down his long list of accomplishments.
The Babylon Bee put together the following list of achievements to give the governor his due:
Defying all expectations, he learned to read: So brave.
Successfully ran multiple billionaires out of the state: Who wants people with vast resources, ingenuity, and entrepreneurial spirit in their state?
Drastically lowered crime rates by just not prosecuting anything anymore: There's no crime if nobody is a criminal.
Helped keep the struggling French Laundry restaurant afloat during the pandemic: Singlehandedly saving a small business.
Cleared out a ton of clutter in the Pacific Palisades: Got rid of a ton of those old houses and trees and whatever.
Reduced the homeless population by -400%: The math doesn't lie.
Made California's education system 03rd overall: Sorry, it's that dyslexia again. It's 30th overall.
Increased the state's oil production: It's all in his hair, but it still counts.
Mentored the greatest politician California ever produced, Kamala Harris: Thank you for helping make her what she is today.
Did not ban satire: He tried, but he didn't. So that's an accomplishment, kind of.
There's no denying that he's racked up quite a resume. What other impressive things has Governor Newsom done? Post your ideas in the comments below.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
