U.S.—Leading up to the third and final debate between presidential candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, multiple sources confirmed Wednesday that Christians across America are looking forward to questioning each other’s standing before God as they discuss the night’s event and the looming election at large.
“It’s a refreshing litmus test we only get every four years,” noted American citizen Christopher Gilmore. “I’m excited to doubt the justification before the Lord of any so-called Christian who sees the debate, or the election as a whole, differently than I do.”
Erica Womack, another American, echoed Gilmore’s remarks, adding, “It’s a convenient way to tell true from false believers, since no one who disagrees with me politically is a true Christian.”
“They may say they are, but they’re not,” she added.
According to experts, anyone voting for Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, or anyone else, along with people choosing not to vote at all in this election, should prepare to have their salvation sincerely questioned by other believers who do not see eye-to-eye with them in the current political atmosphere.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.