U.S. — Amid social and political tensions reaching new highs with violent clashes between government law enforcement and protesters, the nation revealed it had started to wonder if people who spend their lives singing songs to toddlers on YouTube might not be all there mentally.
As confrontations between political philosophies and opposing worldviews showed signs of boiling over into bloodshed, Americans found themselves considering whether or not Ms. Rachel and others like her had ever reached a level of mental and emotional maturity and depth necessary to comment on serious issues.
"It is a little weird, when you think about it," said one concerned American. "I mean, Ms. Rachel has made millions of dollars, so you have to tip your hat to her in that respect, but how did she do it? Singing little kiddie songs in her apartment and posting them on YouTube? Is this the person we want to listen to on the important aspects of life? Really?"
People looking for solutions to complex societal problems seemed reticent to place stock in the mental faculties of people who sing songs to toddlers online. "Yeah, something doesn't add up there," said another citizen. "The high-pitched little kiddie voice, the fixation on colors and numbers, androgenous guitar players, exuberant celebration over toddlers doing seemingly simple things… I'm not sure she's the sharpest knife in the drawer, if you get me. Not exactly Plato at the Agora you're dealing with here."
At publishing time, a new study showed that mental institutions were routinely filled with people who spent all day, every day singing toddler songs.
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