Nation Celebrates Christmas By Traumatizing Millions Of Toddlers
Family · Dec 21, 2022 ·

U.S. — Christmas time is in full swing with tree decorating, caroling, gift wrapping, and of course — the beloved tradition of traumatizing millions of small children everywhere by taking them to meet Santa Claus.

"We were looking for a good way to get in the Christmas spirit when it hit us — why don't we scare our kid to death by taking him to meet Santa?!" said local mother Nicole Glover excitedly. "Nothing says Christmas quite like dropping your kid off on some weirdly dressed stranger's lap and taking a picture while they cry out in fear!"

"Classic! That's a perfect one!" the photographer exclaimed as the scared and confused toddler wailed at the top of his lungs. Happy with these results, the Glovers made sure to capture this horrendous moment forever seared into their child's brain by purchasing multiple copies to keep in their wallet at all times.

According to sources, some other families weren't as lucky as the Glovers, and instead of a hilarious, traumatizing moment for their child their toddler just calmly sat still and smiled while meeting Santa. "It's certainly not what we hoped for, but there's always next year," expressed several disappointed families.

At publishing time, the nation further celebrated Christmas by taking their young toddlers to be traumatized by a showing of 'The Nutcracker'.

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