Narnia Builds Border Wall To Keep Calormenes Out
Christian Living · Apr 9, 2020 ·

CAIR PARAVEL - Aslan announced Thursday that construction has begun on a wall along Narnia's southern border to keep the Calormenes out. A concerning influx of immigration from Calormen led to the decision to build the lengthy wall separating Narnia from Archenland and Calormen. Archenlands' poor border security has led to whole armies of Calormenes crossing the desert and attempting to take over Narnia. Aslan finally had enough and secured billions in funding for the wall.

"We're going to build a wall, and we're going to make the Calormenes pay for it," Aslan said. "We've had enough of their attempts to usurp the throne of Narnia. I even heard a story of a horse and his boy coming across the desert without so much as a border patrol agent asking him for his papers."

"Make Narnia great again!"

The Tisroc of Calormen has condemned the building of the wall. "The Tisroc (may he live forever) is offended by this so-called 'Aslan' suggesting that we want to invade the repulsive land of Narnia," said a spokesperson during a press conference held in Tashbaan. "The Tisroc (may he live forever) does not believe Aslan even exists -- in fact, Aslan is just another name for Tash. Hail Tashlan!" 

There has also been a concerning influx of "anchor children" from a strange land called "Spare Oom," leading to increased cries for more border patrol agents within the Western Woods.


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