Miracle: Family With Small Children Makes It To Church On Time
Church · Jan 21, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

PAMPA, TX — Reports are spreading of a remarkable miracle occurring in a small Texas town, where a family with small children is said to have made it to church on time.

According to sources, the Davis family arrived in the sanctuary at 9:58 and all four members of the family were comfortably seated when the service began at 10:00. Though scholars are reviewing records, this is believed to be the first time in recorded history that a family with small children has ever been at church on time.

"This miracle is right up there with the Old Testament record of God holding the sun still as Israel battled the Amorites," said theologian Dr. Mark Ronalds. "In fact, God may very well have held the sun still to bring the Davis family to church on time. We still do not know the exact nature of how the Lord worked this incredible miracle."

Jeff and Deborah Davis have attended church at St. Paul for over a decade, and have never come within ten minutes of being on time since the birth of their son. "I don't know how to explain us making it," said Jeff. "I have seen the Lord move in powerful ways before, but never anything like this. No one was even crying on the car ride to church. Praise the Lord!"

At publishing time, thousands of husbands were reportedly waiting in the driveway for their wives, praying for a similar miracle.


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