SEABROOK, NH — At a campaign stop in New Hampshire this weekend, Nikki Haley recounted a harrowing story from her youth about escaping slavery through the famed Underground Railroad.
"I remember it well," Haley described. "Harriet Tubman herself showed up at our brown family's small one-room log cabin and took me with her. It wasn't easy being the only runaway of Indian descent, all the other kids got better food than I did, but we made it to freedom in New York and I'll never forget that feeling."
Haley told the crowd she will always be grateful to Tubman for rescuing her from slavery, and said it wasn't easy growing up as the only brown slave on a plantation of only black slaves.
"When it came time for slave auctions, all the black kids got picked first," Haley said. "Being the only brown girl meant I had to wait until the very end to see where I'd end up. When Harriet showed up and offered to take me to freedom on the Underground Railroad, I was so thankful but I also felt a little conspicuous as the only brown girl on the trip. It was hard."
"Anyway, so that's why you should vote for me."
As of publishing time, the NFL had offered to let Haley sing the Black National Anthem at the Superbowl as a gesture of unity and healing.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
